If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize