how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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