He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
