I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
