We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
