I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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