i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
