You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
