Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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