No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
