If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
