What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize