You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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