I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
