Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
