my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize