Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize