fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
