hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
