we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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