I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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