your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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