Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
