Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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