Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
