WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
