I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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