Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize