But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
