weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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