there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
