so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
