Sponge bath it is.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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