K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
