I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
