Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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