is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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