So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
