he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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