idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
