p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
