About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize