she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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