Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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