All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
