bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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