Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
