I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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