You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
