All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
