:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
