Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize