Have you finally orgasmed yet?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
