We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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