his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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