i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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