So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
