my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
