My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
