Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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