so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
