mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
