I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
